Saturday, October 1, 2011


It seems that many of us face the same trials and tribulations throughout our daily lives. What do I want to be when I grow up? Where do I want to live? What kind of life do I want to live? Let's be honest, I've never been one to have all the answers. Frankly I've never really known who I was. But it isn't really that black and white, is it?

Looking at older siblings I always felt I had to live up to their amazing standards. The sibling who always knew where she wanted to live and what she wanted to do...and of course succeeded in both areas. The sibling who seemed to sail through life dating the perfect person, marrying said person, having beautiful children, etc. And finally the free-will sibling who although never had a plan, seemed to fit perfectly into the 'go-with-the-flow' lifestyle. It always seemed to click for them, why not me? How did I grow up so lost?

Then there are the friends that everything seems to work for. We all have them, let's be honest. They have problems of their own, but they always seem to resolve...easily.

I've come to realize recently though, that while from the outside these people seem to have it all they are just as lost as I am. Who ever has life fully figured out? Things change every day and we as people change right along with them. This has been a hard concept for me to grasp over this past year. I've always been a planner. Climbing rung by rung on what I thought was the ladder to my happiness. I had a moment, almost two years ago at this point, where I thought, "Could this really be happening? Could everything I always wanted actually be within my reach? Could I really be this lucky?" Welllllll...we all know how that turned out.

I was working towards my dream job, my dream wedding, and my dream life. Those were my dream aspirations then, but what about now? I am a completely different person than I was then. So how do I come up with completely different dreams?

Its not that the old me has gone entirely out the window, but I have no boundaries now. I can live wherever and do whatever. On my own timeline. Im just left thinking...where is this timeline headed?

How do you create goals and aspirations for yourself when you have no idea what you want out of life?

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