calling all great advice givers!!

Girls, I seemed to have backed myself into a completely disgusting corner and I seriously need that great advice of yours right about now. The story is kind of long and I know that I am being completely irrational, but it's how I feel. Please indulge me...

SO the boyfriend and I have been together for a little over two years. The topic of marriage has come up many a time and we are both in agreement that that is the track we are heading on. A couple of his friends have started to get engaged so the thought has kind of been in the air lately. When he found out that the first of his friends was engaged, he immediately freaked out saying that there was going to be all this pressure now between the rest of them to get engaged as well. I told him, "NO PRESSURE whatsoever". I know that financially neither one of us is ready for that so in no way did I expect him to propose in the near future. I also dropped the line that he better not ask without a ring, which I think helped to ease his tension because both of us know that he is no where near close to having the money saved up for that purchase yet.

Well being the girl I am, I just happened to be purusing some jewelrs online just looking at the latest styles of engagement rings. I happened to find two that I absolutely love and perfect-they were both sold at a jewelry store in dowtown Portsmouth!! So I decide to tell Kevin about my excitement and show him the styles online. This way he won't have to worry about having to choose from the million styles out there because when the time comes he will already know what I want and where to get it. I think that I am being a huge help. I mean, I can't imagine the stress that men must undergo in having to pick out a ring if they have no starting off point.

So this past weekend we are spending time with his parents, and he brings up the fact that I picked out my ring. I explain to his parents why I showed it to him (exactly what I just explained to you all). We start getting into funny engagement stories, blah, blah, blah. So his mother and I end up going off into a side convo where she asks me when we decided that this was the next step that we were going to take. I told her that it has been something we have always talked about, so its really nothing new. Then she drops the BOMB. She told me that Kevin had gone to her and his father about two weeks ago and told them that he had begun saving for a ring was thinking of proposing around Christmas. (WHAT?! YAYYYY!!!) Then as I try to pick my jaw up off of the ground, she asks if we had discussed when he would be proposing. I say, "NO" (because who really discussing that??) And she replies with, "Oh, well your welcome I guess". I was stunned!!! I mean on one hand I was overjoyed, but on the other I was thinking how could she have just told me that?!

When I heard the news I was so excited. I felt like I had already been proposed to. I was so ecstatic that he had actually seriously thought about our future together and had planned accordingly. This is a huge step to take in someone's life, and I know that we've talked about it before, but that fact that he had actually decided that he was ready to take that step with me literally brought tears to my eyes. I think it was the happiest I had ever felt.

So cut to yesterday when I am talking to my roommates about this because I can no longer keep it inside, where they tell me that I have to tell him that I know. Not just because I don't want to still his thunder when he asks by then telling him that I already knew, but also because I really do want it to be a surprise to me as well. I decide that maybe they are right and that I should tell him. (I had been going back and forth in my mind about it since I found out) So last night I get up enough nerve to tell him when we were on the phone together before bed. The reaction I was expecting was that he would be a little stunned and dissapointed, but that he would be excited that I was so excited and that he could then plan for another time.

NOPE. NOT EVEN CLOSE.

He replies, "I never said that". My heart instantly sunk out of feet. I felt like I was going to throw up. I almost felt like I had just proposed to him and he had said no. I felt like the biggest idiot in the world, thinking of how mature he was and how he had really stepped up. He didn't even try and make me feel better by saying that he was sorry I got so excited and felt really bad that I was told that. NOTHING. It was complete silence for a solid two minutes. It was the most awkward moment of my life (and believe me, I've had many!). I almost felt like he was mad/defensive that I would even think that he was ready to take that step. He then just ended the conversation and got off the phone. I was so hurt and I knew if I said anything he wouldn't understand. I feel so ashamed and embarressed right now. I don't even want to see him.

Girls, I need your help. I don't know what to do.

Tagged by TAG!

I've been tagged by TAG! It has been so much fun reading this on other's blogs that I'm so excited to do it myself! I am a huuuuge dork to those who actually know me, so don't be surprised at the randomness of these songs...

Here are the rules:
1. Link to the person who tagged you and post the rules on your blog.
2. Share 5 songs you are embarrassed to admit to others that you like and tell why.
3. Tag 5 random people at the end of post and include links to their blogs.
4. Let each person know they've been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.


1. "The Jumpoff" by Lil' Kim- not preppy in the SLIGHTEST haha but it is my group of friends favorite song to get ready to for a night out lol. I'm pretty sure every girl in our sorority knows this song word for word hahahah

2. "Come Clean" by Hilary Duff- what can I say, I was a huuuge Laguna Beach fan. This in one of those songs that just reminds me of driving at night in the summertime with the window's down on my way home from a long shift waitressing

3. "Beautiful Soul" by Jesse McCartney- HAHA my freshman year in college my bff and I made many a road trip with this song blasting! We loved how cheesy it was and even made up some horrible dance moves to go along with it. DORKS, I know!

4. "As I Lay Me Down" by Sophie B. Hawkins- for some reason I have always LOVED this song, ever since I was little. Sooo random, but I can't help it!

5. "Landslide" by the Dixie Chicks- I'm not a country fan at all, but I really do like their cover of this song. You just can't help but listen to it when it comes on!

I would like to tag...

Mrs. LSL
Tipsy In Madras
A Connecticut Girl
Pink is My Signature Color

Happy Tuesday Girls!

finally!

http://www.tvshowsondvd.com/news/Gossip-Girl-Season-1-Release-Date/9626

Gossip Girl Season 1 on DVD finally coming out!!!! Who else is super pumped?!

hottie with a body

I can no longer keep to myself my love affair with Chace Crawford. With the new season of Gossip Girl beginning soon (Sept. 1st!!!!) pictures of the cast have been plastered everywhere. Let's just take a moment girls and enjoy our Friday morning coffee with a little piece of eye candy on the side...

*sigh* mmmm delish

Happy Friday Everyone!!

soaked!

Too bad there weren't any dryers here at work, because I could seriously use one right now. I just had a meeting at our other building and got completely soaked! I mean SOAKED! Too bad black yoga leggings aren't office attire because I am seriously considering changing into them right about now. They're all I have with me for alternative clothes and my jeans are never going to dry. Apparantly there are tornado warnings for this area...yikes!

Yay Bailey!!!

YAYYYYYYY!!! The season finale was soooo good-I literally started tearing up! I am so excited that Bailey is the new Elle Woods! She has been my favorite since the first episode and I know that she's going to do great. I heard a little rumor that the show might be coming to Boston to do a few performances. If so, I have to get tickets!!

My First Tag!

I've been tagged by europafox!!!

A. Attached or Single? Attached- me and the bf have been together for 2yrs!

B. Best Friend? My BF Kevin, and my best girlfriend Meaghan

C. Cake or pie? Cake- funfetti all the way!

D. Day of choice? Fridays...even though you have to get up for work, when you get out you know you have the whole weekend ahead of you

E. Essential item? Cell phone, pearl earrings

F. Favorite color? Any shade of pink, and navy

G. Gummy bears or worms? Neither- Swedish fish please!

H. Home town? Maine/New Hampshire Seacoast

I. Favorite indulgence? Ben & Jerry's Half Baked Ice Cream

J. January or July? July! Summertime girl down to my core :)

M. Marriage date? not yet, no need to rush it

N. Number of brothers and sisters? I'm the youngest of four- two sisters and a brother. (And one brother-in-law!)

O. Oranges or Apples? For drinking- fresh squeezed oranges, for eating- apples (mmm apple crisp)

P. Phobias? Heights (yikes!). I used to have a terrible commitment phobia. I had never dated anyone longer than three months before Kevin, but he helped me get over that :)

Q. Quotes? Too many to choose from! Here are a few classics though...

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do...So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." - Mark Twain

"I believe in pink, I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in m i r a c l e s." - Audrey Hepburn

R. Reasons to smile? The ability to live my life each and every day

S. Season of choice? Summer (obvi), Fall and it's amazing changing colors are a close second though

T. Tag 5 people: I feel like most people have already completed this, so if you haven't yet I tag you!

U. Unknown fact about me? Up until I went away to college, it was my long-time dream to be a Radio City Rockette

V. Vegetable? Corn on the cob

W. Worst habit? Procrastination

X. X-ray or Ultrasound? Not quite ready for an ultrasound and not too fond of the thought of x-rays

Z. Zodiac sign? Taurus- yet my birthday (April 20th) falls right on the line so some people might argue that I am an Aries. I think that I carry traits of both

Z. Which zoo animal is your favorite? Elephants all the way. I've been obsessed with them for as long as I can remember

Life has a mind of it's own...

Sorry I've been slow on the posts this week, but not much has been going on. I found out this morning though that my grandmother-who is my only living grandparent- was admitted to the hospital yesterday afternoon for congestive heart failure. I guess it means that her body was beginning to fill up with liquid, putting a strain on her heart. She's 93 years old and I know that she's put in a really good/long life, but I'm just not ready to see her go. My grandfather (her husband) died when I was in the fourth grade so she's been on her own for quite some time. A couple of months ago she began sorting through her things and started to give them away. I know that she's ready to die, I just don't think that I'm ready for her to. Please keep her in your prayers.

On a much higher note, I am going on quite the excursion tomorrow. I'm going down to Martha's Vineyard! The story as to why is a little long, so hang in there...

My bff got a job down on the Vineyard and really wanted the two of us to move down there together. I already have a job that I have been at for a year, but you all know how that is going. So I decided to try and find something down there. I was all gung-ho about it for a while, but after not hearing back from anywhere decided to give up. I would push through the tension at work and stick it out. Everyone goes through rough times at work and I would just learn to deal with it. Well last Thursday the bff left me a voicemail saying that she had found the perfect job for me and that I absolutely had to go online and check it out. So to I decided I would just take a look at it. Well, it's for an office manager for a performing arts center on the Vineyard. I danced for 15 years of my life and competitively for most of them. I just started back up with a dance team, so being part of running a studio has always been a dream of mine. I figured I would just send in my resume to flatter the bff (even though I probably wouldn't hear back) just to say that I had tried. Friday morning on my way to the beach I got a phone call saying that they wanted me to come in for an interview. You have got to be kidding me! After I finally decided I wasn't going to move, that's when I got a call back. So I was debating whether or not to call back but I decided that I might as well call and find out some information on the position. They probably wouldn't be paying much, so that alone would make my decision a solid 'no'. I ended up talking to the girl for almost 45 minutes. It sounds like such an amazing opportunity-damnit. So towards the end of our conversation I had to ask the question...salary. Well the girl who I was talking to is replacing herself so she wouldn't be able to answer that question for me, I would have to speak to the directors of the studio. All she could say was that they took very good care of her. What is that supposed to mean?!

So they bff and I are heading to the Vineyard in the morning and then probably to the beach for the rest of the day. If it doesn't work out, at least I got a day on Martha's Vineyard and I had a chance to spend some much needed time with my bff. I will definitely let you all know how it goes on Monday!

Have a good weekend ladies!!!

Are they serious?!

Each week I have become more and more obsessed with the search for the new elle woods. Of course being a H U G E Legally Blonde fan I knew I would love it right away. But last night I could have reached through the television and smacked the judges upside the head! I absolutely loved Lauren and really though that she would make it to the final two. I understand that she is only 18, but she had some serious pipes and an amazing spirit. As much as I am fond of Rhiannon as well- she can't sing! And at the end of her audition performance last night she could barely catch her breath. I was surprised that she wasnt cut last week, but making it through this week was ridiculous. They finished the episode with such a cliff hanger that I cannot wait until Monday night! My vote will be for Bailey as the next Elle. I know that Autumn has an amazing voice, but I just don't see her in that role. Yes, she is 28 and she hasn't made it on Broadway yet, but like the judges said- mabey she just isn't starring role material. What do all of you think?

friday for me!

Hello Everyone! I apologize for being MIA this week. I took tomorrow off, so today is my last work day of the week. I'm planning on getting to the beach tomorrow morning then heading to the camping site with Kevin in the afteroon. I'm so excited for the beach...and interested to see how camping goes! I'm really excited to see all of K's friends and it looks like we should be getting some great weather this weekend as well. I'll be sure to post some pics next week!

I had posted a while ago about starting yoga...and I absoutely love love love it! I was a dancer for 15 years of my life and I miss being in the studio and in the class setting. I wanted to try out yoga not only for the physical benefits, but to also meet more people. I found out on the studio's website that they had a limited number of volunteer positions where you can volunteer your time and take classes for free. Well I met with the owners and we clicked immediately! So they gave me a volunteer position on the spot. It turns out that one of the owners also has a group of dancers that she has put together to perform in the area. I had explained in my interview that I had danced competitively and she wanted me to come to their next practice. When I arrived I was shocked to find a girl there who had been on the senior competition team when I was on the junior team in middle school! I hadn't seen her in 8 years! Talk about a small world. It was so great to see her and I can't wait to hang out more. I'm really excited to see where all of these new endevours will lead me to! Thank you jewish girl in wasp's clothing for suggesting that I take a class somewhere!

Instead of doing multiple posts, I'm just going to combine things today lol. I just wanted to share with you all a couple of new products that I have tried out this week that I absolutely love:

Special K Protein Water- I've only tried the mixed berry flavor (a little sweet), but it actually does work! I'm the type of person where either mid-morning or mid-afternoon I'm looking for something to munch on and this totally erases that so that I can focus on work (and not my grumbling stomach). Plus, one serving is the entire bottle and it's only 50 calories! Probably less calories than if I was to have an actual snack. I hate it when you buy a drink and it has three servings in one bottle and each serving is at least 150 calories.

Aveeno Continuous Radiance Mosturizing Lotion-Customized Dial: Now I love laying out at the beach as much as the next girl (possibly more lol) but working a 9-5 has definitely put a damper on my number of beach visits. So I've tried a few sunless tanners and I haven't been that impressed. So I picked up this aveeno at the store this week and cannot stop raving about it! I don't want to suddenly be bronzed overnight (too fake looking), I want it to look that my tan has been building to do natural causes. This lotion is great because it has a dial at the top where you can choose how light/dark you want to be. That way you don't have to go out and buy multiple different lotions.

I love reading about new products, etc. on other's blogs so I figured I would share a few of mine. I hope that you all have a fantastic weekend- I can't wait to read all about it!

back to work

(Kevin and I on the fourth)

So the long weekend was definitely what I needed. It was so fun and relaxing that I was not looking forward to heading back into the office this morning. Luckily this is a four day week for me as well! This weekend Kevin and I are going on a camping trip will all of his friends (wish me luck!).

Enjoy your Monday!

Pic of the Day

I am so jealous of this pup right now! I wish I was at the beach!!

mind, boy, & soul

Happy Tuesday everyone. Still trudging through the week over here. As I'm sure you can tell these past few weeks have been disheartening for me with everything that has been going on with work. So I decided that I needed a change. At a great suggestion from someone, I decided to start taking some yoga classes. I was a dancer for 15 years, took some yoga in college, and also have been doing pilates on/off for the past few years. I thought that yoga would be a good idea because not only would I be working out (I hate going to the gym or running so any excuse not to sounds good to me!) but I would also be taking some "me time" to really focus to do something great for myself.

So I looked up the local studio online. While I was purusing the site for info, I came across an amazing opportunity. They offer a limited number of spots for people to volunteer in return for free classes. I met with the owners last night and they are both so nice! They told me that I got the position and that I start next week. I have to volunteer for at least 2 hours a week (which will be a snap) helping out with things around the studio. And I can start classes immediately! I ran out to target during my lunch break to purchase a new yoga mat (pink, of course!). I can't wait!