I know that I have been slacking on the blog posts lately, but I've been stuck in a bit of a rut. I love reading about everyone's wonderful day-to-day happenings, but in reality we all go through stormy times. It can feel pretty lonely thinking that you are going through this by yourself, but in reality most people deal with personal difficulties all the time. So I'm going to come right out and say it: I have depression and anxiety issues. They came to a head my junior year in college and I've learned to live with the fact that I will be dealing with them my entire life. It's the hand I was dealt and there's no getting around it.
There are certainly times when things are at their worst and others when things are at their best. Well, lets just say that right now is not exactly a 'high point' for me. I left a cushy job after almost three years for something that I truly believed I was meant to do. Things were switched around quickly, and I was then shuffled into something else. Something else, that at the moment, I am currently hating. I've only been in this position for three months and cannot believe that I am already considering trying to find something else. I hate that I might have a random blimp on my resume that will haunt me down the road, but I also hate this feeling of not being happy. I was reading this a few weeks ago, and it really struck a cord with me. Especially # 14:
Let your passion shape your profession. You know that thing your dad says? “If work wasn’t hard, they wouldn’t pay you to do it.” Please. There are professional rock stars, astronauts, puppy trainers, and bloggers.
I'm too young to be wasting away my time. The catch though- what would I rather be doing with my time? I haven't got a clue. I tried making a list of qualities I would want in an ideal job, but they aren't pointing to one specific thing. The listed included things like helping others, having a creative outlet, not being at a desk from 9-5, interacting with others, having fun, taking pride in my position, possibly traveling, etc.
After working out some of the medical effects of this low point, I still haven't dealt with the underlying cause of just plain being unhappy. I'm young enough that I feel like its okay to be selfish and try something new for the fact of having fun, but I'm still at a loss.
When you've hit a crossroads in your life, how were you able to deal with it? What steps did you take to improve things? I'm in need of some serious advice here ladies. Thanks.