Thursday, September 18, 2008

ramblings

There is no inspiration for this post, so please bare with me. It's a beautiful Thursday and the weekend is in sight. Last night was my first rehearsal for the piece that I am choreographing for the dance company I am in. It was fun to actually start getting into the piece with the other girls. The song is lollipop by mika. It's really fun, cute, and a little naughty at the same time. A great combo! Sometimes its fun to not be the good/sweet girl and step out of your element. The group is really starting to get serious about putting together our show and I'm looking forward to seeing it all come together.

Growing up is hard. I feel like I have always pictured my adult life in a certain way and as I become more independent I'm realizing that nothing is ever how I expected it would be. I've discovered that things change on a daily basis and that there really is no ultimate goal- bc once you've reached it, life still goes and the next day always comes. I know that communication in my relationship with others has never been my strong point. Things have been struggling with Kevin lately and I'm really at a loss for words. I'm hoping that day by day things will get better, but I also don't want to feel like I am the only one working at it. Have any of you ever been in a long-term relationship where you know that your not really happy with where things are, but you can't imagine letting that person go? But you also know that you don't want to keep going if the relationship really isn't meant to be? I just know that I don't want to be one of those people who put years & years into a relationship only to still have it crumble. I mean let's face it, I'm not getting any younger! I know I'm only 22, but I'm post college faze and am afraid that if things don't work out with Kevin that I'm never going to find anyone else. I think I'm possibly the youngest person at my company and I'm not meeting any hotties on the mat next to me in yoga.

I know that I have asked for a lot of feedback and advice from you all this week, but I need more. I like to use this blog to get different perspectives and feedback from people other than in my daily life.

Thanks Ladies

3 comments:

Red and White Preppy said...

Oh, sweetie. Trust me...we all have those days. My life certainly hasn't worked out the way I thought it would. I thought when I was a senior in college that at 26, I would be married to my college sweetheart and finishing my last year of teaching before taking off time to have babies. Wow...

Five years later, I'm SO happy with my family, friends, job, and life in general. I'm missing a guy, but I am so glad to be the person I am and for all I have in my life.

I completely understand the whole "How am I going to meet someone?" idea. I ask myself that frequently, but I have faith that it'll happen when it's supposed to happen for me.

With Kevin, you need to ask yourself if you see yourself ten years from now being happy with him. People change SO much in their twenties, and if you can't see it now, you certainly won't be happy in the future with him. You deserve someone who can support you and will work with you for better times.

Sorry this was long, but I could go on and on about this :) Hope it helps in some way.

tickledpink said...

RAWP gave you great advice and well said! I know that I thought when I graduated from college I was going to marry my boyfriend at the time, we were going to have children soon and be happily ever after. Thank goodness that didn't happen. Life doesn't always go how you planned or how you would want it to. I never in a million years thought I would be divorced.
I have learned so much over the past few years. Don't ever settle, and if your relationship is just okay don't stay in it because you are afraid you may not meet someone else. I sometimes wonder now will I ever meet someone? I know that God has a fabulous plan for me, you and all the ladies. He is working in your life, and you just have to have faith.

If you are not truly happy with your boyfriend you might need to really think about things. RAWP is right about people changing a lot throughout their twenties. You want someone who is going to support you, who will be a partner where you are both giving 100% toward the relationship/marriage and you are both on the same page in regards to what you want in life.
Hope this helped some! I will keep you in my prayers!:)

TAG said...

YES, YES, YES to your middle paragraph. Sweetheart, life is full of surprises and you never know what's going to happen next. If I followed my plan in college, I'd be married and living in Florida. I'm single and living in New York. Take it from a girl whose spent the majority of the week in bed crying: what's meant to be will be, even if you can't see it right now. You will be just fine.